This Might Be My Last Post!

     This may very well be my last post because on Wednesday, possibly sooner, my The New Jersey State Parole Board, to whom I am directly accountable, will most likely be taking my Internet access away. They may even decide to restrict me from computer access all together. This action will have immediate and no doubt devastating effects on my life and ministry. It is not justified and I have had a strong emotional, even suicidal reactions to the thought of this.  However, God and my sin put them over me and I will follow as I am instructed.

     Regardless of this two weeks ago I made a determination: no matter what my circumstances, I will never look at my situation except against the backdrop of the cross. In the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God forever convinced me that He loved me. The love relationship I have with my Heavenly Father will sustain me through this extremely difficult time.

     My faith is not based on good situations in my life it is based on what Jesus has done throughout my life. I rest in that and if you are truly my friends, you will remind me of it when I need reminding.

This is where my hope is centered, on what my Daddy has written for me:

Jeremiah 29:11:

     "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

2 Corinthians 4:16-18:  

      So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Deuteronomy 31:6: 

      Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

     I hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is I want to encourage those of you who read this blog, around the world, to take courage!  This is not the end of me, it's just another chapter in my life coming to a close.  If I never see you here again, I will see you in eternity!  And that's a promise that no one can take away!

The Word of God is Personal and Real and written for Me, and you!

     As I was in the Word today and studying the Experiencing God workbook, I realized a great truth that I wanted to share with the world!

     Jesus came to Saul and revealed the Father's purposes of love for him. This is also true in my life. I do not choose Him. He chooses me, loves me, and reveals His eternal purposes for my life.
     Romans 8:29-30:” 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

     This passage in Romans is written about me! I am one of the ones He foreknew!

      This passage in Romans is written about me! I am one of the ones He foreknew! I am predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son! I am firstborn among many brothers! I am Called! I am Justified! And I will be glorified! Wow how exciting, how humbling. It is one thing to read the Scriptures and be in awe of them, it is quite another to realize that God is indeed talking about me! How awesome, how humbling!

     But it still isn't all about me, it is about Him. He foreknew me. He predestined me, He conformed me, He bore me, He justified me, He will glorify me!

     You know it is great to personalize the Scriptures but it is foolish, reckless and just plain stupid and self-centered to only look at what is being done for me and not look at the most important part, the ONE who does it for and to me, my God and King! This thought is perfectly illustrated by Jesus in John 15:16,19: 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Well that's what I think!

I Just Want To Live!

Life is challenging and it seems that every day is bringing me more and more to worry about.  Everyone around me is hurting and the truth is; it's starting to get to me.  I have so many things that I have to be careful about.  I am not trying to get away with anything, be decietful or run anyone elses life.  I just want to be able to live and find enjoyment in my life.


It's ironic that for the first time in my life I truely want to live!  I've spent the majority of my life wanting to die or just fade away, something to make the pain stop.


Now I'm in a place where my top two relationships are so wonderful I cannot express it in words.  Jesus and my beautiful wife Penny, they are so very important to me and I couldn't ask for a better relationship with either of them. I am blessed, I am happy.  But things keep coming up that would seek to tear down my relationships and my joy of life.  


However, I've made a determination: no matter what my circumstances, I will never look at my situation except against the backdrop of the cross. In the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God forever convinced me that He loved me. “Father, don’t ever let me look at my life and question Your love for me. Your love for me was settled on the cross. That has never changed and will never change.” Our love relationship with the Heavenly Father sustains us through extremely difficult times.


But even as I seek to look only to Jesus you will notice how far I have to go by counting the number of times I've used the word "My" in this post. Six times I have taken back all that I have given over to God in this post alone.  I still have a ways to go.


"Lord Jesus, I give you back again all that I hold dear, because You can take better care of them than I ever could!"